Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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