How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
