You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
