People with herpes should wear stickers.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
