the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
