and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
