im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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