this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
