I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
