I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
