She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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