I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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