heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
