How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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