And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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