she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
