Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
