i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
