she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
