someone get that fucking seahorse.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
