I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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