mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
