i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
only you would photoshop your dick
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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