we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
