is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
