I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
