No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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