i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
