Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you win again, gameday.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
