I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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