Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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