Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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