does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
