I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
