if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
birth control should be required to get into college
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
