she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
