A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
