ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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