i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
