a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
