the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
