I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Verdict: uncircumcised.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
