All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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