If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
