No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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