WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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