Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
