I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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