i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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