I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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