flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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