I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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